MotherhoodParenting

I Resolve To Sham Mommy Shaming

posted by Anupriya 5 Comments

They say that Happy Mothers raise Happy Kids. Thus my most important resolution for the year 2018 is to be a happy and contended person. But the challenge is that I am a mother of two kids under 5. Now the expectation in the former statement just does not seem to fit in with the latter one. Isn’t it? Yet I have decided to give it a shot, and a sincere one at that.

When I reflected on things that put me off during the last year, I realized that most of the reasons found their roots in one master reason. That’s the fear of judgment. The call it Mommy Shaming!  I have lived in fear of being shamed ever since I became a mother, because everyone around me seemed to know better about what’s best for my child. And I slumped into the marshland called ‘an ever self doubting mom’. But this year I have decided to break free from Mommy Shaming and let myself be.

So here’s a list of 10 judgment shackles that I will break myself free of –

  • Next time when I shout at my kids, I will resolve to not shout again and try my best to stick to my resolution. But that will not make me a bad mother. I am a human and have patience limits that my kids set out to test every awake moment of their life
  • I may not clean my home on some days. It doesn’t mean that I love the mess. It’s just that at times I feel more human and less robotic by breaking from the routine. And then there are days, when I feel plain lazy.
  • ‘Oh! You left your job to raise kids? Such a waste of your education.’ I will not let this feedback get to my nerves. This is time for my kids and I am going to do justice with it. There are moms who chose to work. I do not judge them. But I will not be bogged down by anyone else judging me either.
  • ‘How do you manage to leave your kids at home and enjoy a movie yourself?’ I mean this world does not let you live either way. I have come to realize that some mothers do not like to be parted from their kids at all. But then that’s their parenting style. Former is mine.
  • ‘Am I a Tiger Mom?’ I have had strong reactions from people for answering either way. How do I feel about being a Tiger Mom? Some days I feel like ripping my kids apart for making a mistake and I go after them left right and centre to make amends, while on others I feel like just letting them be. Where does it leave me? In a mom’s place!
  • I will not fret over my kids’ meal contents and meal times. How much of boiled veggies can one eat every day? I mean, all those people claiming to feed their kids healthy food each and every time, must be lying. That’s because, I know of so many health conscious eaters, who have their own cheat days. Thus, my kids too are allowed their share of cheat days.
  • I will not feel low about letting my kids run down the atrium of the mall and make immense noise in the flight. My boys are 2 and 5 years, and it’s just that they happen to be behaving in an age appropriate manner. I will not tie them down.
  • I will not get into a mommy war for, ‘Oh! See my kid looks better groomed than yours!’. I mean I really intended to wipe their faces clean before setting out for the park, but my 2 year old just opened the latch and ran outside the house. I had to catch with him quick before I came back to see my elder one toiling with his father’s shoe polish and brush to polish his own Converses. I just had to take their hands and run out of the house, real quick.

P.S. – This list has no intention to offend anyone who thinks otherwise and may be taken in with a pinch of salt at convenience.

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5 Comments

Ravish Mani January 18, 2018 at 10:21 pm

Hey, if someone choose to be offended, then you can’t do anything, but it’s always good to make your intentions clear. Anyways…More power to you, Anupriya, to stick to your resolutions. 🙂

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Nayantara Hegde January 20, 2018 at 4:02 pm

Mom shaming is sadly mostly done by women. I wish women really learned to support and encourage each other than pull each other down. I think we are all the best moms we can be and nothing should take that away and put an iota of doubt in our minds. Good post.

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Priya January 20, 2018 at 10:02 pm

Unfortunately, if you are a mother, you will be judged no matter what. Sane thing is to do your best not try to please other, because you just CANNOT please everyone.

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Sharvari Paivaidya Mehan January 21, 2018 at 11:15 am

This is so true. Mommy shaming is done by friends family and people who don’t even know you or your situation. More power to you girl

Reply
Anchal January 23, 2018 at 1:16 pm

People sometimes go lengths to shame a mom. And I am with you. Let the kids be kids.

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