They say that Happy Mothers raise Happy Kids. Thus my most important resolution for the year 2018 is to be a happy and contended person. But the challenge is that I am a mother of two kids under 5. Now the expectation in the former statement just does not seem to fit in with the latter one. Isn’t it? Yet I have decided to give it a shot, and a sincere one at that.
When I reflected on things that put me off during the last year, I realized that most of the reasons found their roots in one master reason. That’s the fear of judgment. The call it Mommy Shaming! I have lived in fear of being shamed ever since I became a mother, because everyone around me seemed to know better about what’s best for my child. And I slumped into the marshland called ‘an ever self doubting mom’. But this year I have decided to break free from Mommy Shaming and let myself be.
So here’s a list of 10 judgment shackles that I will break myself free of –
- Next time when I shout at my kids, I will resolve to not shout again and try my best to stick to my resolution. But that will not make me a bad mother. I am a human and have patience limits that my kids set out to test every awake moment of their life
- I may not clean my home on some days. It doesn’t mean that I love the mess. It’s just that at times I feel more human and less robotic by breaking from the routine. And then there are days, when I feel plain lazy.
- ‘Oh! You left your job to raise kids? Such a waste of your education.’ I will not let this feedback get to my nerves. This is time for my kids and I am going to do justice with it. There are moms who chose to work. I do not judge them. But I will not be bogged down by anyone else judging me either.
- ‘How do you manage to leave your kids at home and enjoy a movie yourself?’ I mean this world does not let you live either way. I have come to realize that some mothers do not like to be parted from their kids at all. But then that’s their parenting style. Former is mine.
- ‘Am I a Tiger Mom?’ I have had strong reactions from people for answering either way. How do I feel about being a Tiger Mom? Some days I feel like ripping my kids apart for making a mistake and I go after them left right and centre to make amends, while on others I feel like just letting them be. Where does it leave me? In a mom’s place!
- I will not fret over my kids’ meal contents and meal times. How much of boiled veggies can one eat every day? I mean, all those people claiming to feed their kids healthy food each and every time, must be lying. That’s because, I know of so many health conscious eaters, who have their own cheat days. Thus, my kids too are allowed their share of cheat days.
- I will not feel low about letting my kids run down the atrium of the mall and make immense noise in the flight. My boys are 2 and 5 years, and it’s just that they happen to be behaving in an age appropriate manner. I will not tie them down.
- I will not get into a mommy war for, ‘Oh! See my kid looks better groomed than yours!’. I mean I really intended to wipe their faces clean before setting out for the park, but my 2 year old just opened the latch and ran outside the house. I had to catch with him quick before I came back to see my elder one toiling with his father’s shoe polish and brush to polish his own Converses. I just had to take their hands and run out of the house, real quick.
P.S. – This list has no intention to offend anyone who thinks otherwise and may be taken in with a pinch of salt at convenience.