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The Joy Of Living – #WriteBravely

posted by Anupriya 14 Comments
Joy of Living

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An orphaned boy, who survived the Bhuj earthquake and a girl from a village near Jamnagar. That’s Kishore and me chasing our dreams with a scholarship to study Mechanical Engineering at a reputed government college in Mumbai.

To say that we were friends in college who turned lovers is definitely a cliché. But the thing about love is that once you have taken the plunge, the question about how you fell in love doesn’t matter.

Our time in college went by like a dream. We were two excited kids, running around the city of dreams, making plans for life in future while coping with the pressures of our courses. Our relationship was cherished by everyone who knew us. By some play of luck we had everyone’s blessings. I was happy. No, happy would be an understatement. I was on cloud nine. With time we were blooming in each other’s company. Every time I saw Kishore wink at me meaningfully amidst the practical lab from across the table, I felt my heart melt with the warmth of his love that gushed out of his dark brown eyes.

It was like we had our ‘happily ever after’ planned. Until that fateful day…

I heard the news of the serial blasts in Mumbai’s local trains from my classmates in hostel. But the news that Kishore was on one of those trains was brought by one of his kin from the orphanage. I didn’t know what to do. Everyone was worried about me, as I failed to shed a single tear. Even on his pyre, I kept staring with hope that he would emerge from it and engulf me in a hug.

Are you wondering, what transpired of me after Kishore passed away? Hmmm! I gave up on life. No, I wasn’t brave enough to commit suicide. Instead I drowned myself in work at the job I had obtained through campus. I performed so well there, that I had this young celebrity like status in my office. But happiness and contentment eluded me.  My sister pointed out that despite performing well and all, I am living in denial. That’s when she introduced me to Samar. It seemed to be a good decision then, because after our very first meeting at the meditation centre, I returned smiling. I was to meet Samar again in week’s time. I couldn’t wait for the week to get over. And then week after week I continued to see him.

Other than our weekly meetings at the meditation centre I also agreed to accompany Samar to his social responsibility endeavors at the nearby orphanage. I was once again poised to be happy in life by helping others and spread love. Samar’s kind words reflected deep understanding of life and were a balm to my wounded soul. In his beaming face, I found a silent assurance that it was possible for me to be happy again.

But last month when I told my sister about my decision, she went numb. “You can’t be serious about this. It’s too early for you to know, if it is all worth it!”, Her words were echoed by our parents.

I told them, that when Kishore left me, I didn’t think I would ever fall in love again. But… I was 22 then and life is long. And I’m feeling things right now that I haven’t in a long, long time.’

Today I sit at my parental house. Swara, my sister tells me biting her lips, ‘You need not follow your muse to the path where he leads you. You could simply live with the joy he has given you. Going after him will mean that you will have to sever ties with all of us. You won’t be allowed to even meet us.’ There was alarm and urgency in my little sister’s voice.

My family realizes that they are only talking in vain. They know that I have made up my mind, and they have just today with me.

The next day my family accompanies me tearfully to the monastery where Monk Vidyanand will give me Diksha to become a monk. They see me walk towards the palanquin with Samar leading the line with 6 other people in tow to adorn monkhood for life. Swara calls out frantically that I should change my mind. But then, they do not know. Only I know. I know that it is the only way that I will find respite from the pain I have lived in ever since Kishore went away. I was breathing because I did not believe in suicide. But in Samar’s thoughts and beliefs, in his understanding of life I found the route to emancipation from the endless torture of living. In the future lay a possibility to breathe without feeling any guilt of outliving Kishore. I could even come to understand the joy of living without him.

This post is a part of the #WriteBravely Write Tribe Festival of Words

Write Tribe

The prompt for the day is –

“No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.” – Cinderella

Read more stories  in fiction section here.

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Meena June 29, 2018 at 10:34 am

This is such a uplifting and sad story at the same time. Great take on the prompt Anupriya

akshata June 29, 2018 at 10:41 am

I haven’t really been able to completely understand what makes people renounce worldly life and become monks or nuns .. your story shed some light on one of the aspects quite well

Anshu Bhojnagarwala June 29, 2018 at 12:03 pm

Having stayed in Ahmedabad, I have come across people who have taken dakshinas. We get only 1 life to enjoy, to love or to work selflessly for others. I feel a person should be happy in her journey as long as it doesn’t trouble others. Glad she found happiness in her decision to be a monk. Good post Anupriya!

Natasha June 29, 2018 at 12:57 pm

This is poignant story filled with steaks of hope. I wish she had not renounced the world though.
Really enjoyed your craft of putting this tale together.
Just a little typo if you don’t mind Anupriya, should it not be vain, instead of vein?
Great going with the challenge. 🙂

Natasha June 29, 2018 at 12:57 pm

This is a** – excuse the typo pls.

Natasha June 29, 2018 at 12:59 pm

Also couldn’t find your share buttons…

Anupriya June 29, 2018 at 1:29 pm

Oh they appear on the left side on the desktop and at the bottom of your screen in the mobile phone. Thanks for liking the story and thanks for pointing out the correction. Done the needful

Bhavna Kaushik June 29, 2018 at 1:24 pm

Sad yes, but truly inspirational.

charu Sharma June 29, 2018 at 2:34 pm

Beautiful story 💕
I observed one more thing and found it to be interesting the line that says I was 22 then and didn’t think I could fall in love again was also a times of India write India season 2 prompt and was originally from a book where there’s a guy who’s renowned interior designer, he crafts few furniture pieces himself and replicas of fixed number are made which are booked even before they have been manufactured. A girl broke his heart when he was young which made him incapable of trusting women again and hence the statement. Book – The promise.

Anupriya June 29, 2018 at 2:40 pm

Hey Charu, very rightly pointed. This story is an abridged version of my entry for that very prompt by Nikita Singh. The full version was a little to lengthy to expect peeps to read here.
And yes I have read The Promise too and cried my way through it.
Thanks for dropping by.

Suzy June 29, 2018 at 3:04 pm

Beautifully written. People find solace in many ways but I think renouncing the world is probably the hardest thing to do even though it may look easy.

deepa June 29, 2018 at 3:48 pm

A wonderful story.. Although I would wish she enjoyed her life living the fullest , she did find solace in renouncing to become a monk. A different perspective to look at life in pursuit of happiness.

Vartika Gakhar June 29, 2018 at 7:01 pm

Sad but an uplifting post Anupriya. Though, I wish she had not renounced the world, but it’s true at the same time that people may find solace in things we might not find apt for us.

Sonia Chatterjee June 29, 2018 at 9:18 pm

This broke my heart. But it is such a poignant tale and you write so beautifully. A very strong story with a unique ending.


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