Parenting

Bengali Movie Haami – A Curious Case Of Paranoid Parenting

posted by Anupriya 20 Comments
Movie Haami

I have some fond childhood memories of watching some coveted movies in regional language every Sunday on Doordarshan TV. Ever since, I have been quite open to watching movies in vernacular languages given they have acquired the acclaimed and appreciated status. One such movie I recently came across was the Bengali movie Haami. This movie was highly recommended by my Bengali friends in Kolkata and the title song ‘Bhuttu Bhaijaan’ also caught my kids’ fancy. Only that it took me some while to arrange for the movie to be viewed on television.

Why I call the movie Haami as a curious case of paranoid parenting is, because from the word go, the movie is a reflection of how indulged a generation of parents we are.  Here’s a peep into how this movie is a study in itself of parenting behavior and how it impacts our kids.

Because We Can Afford, We Splurge

The movie opens with a birthday party of a happy go lucky boy. The father is a business owner and makes sure that his son’s birthday party is the talk of the town (read community). A celebrity singing sensation, latest fashion and exotic food mark the party. As if that wasn’t enough, the kid is bestowed upon with the parent’s blessings in the form of a mobile phone.

Skepticism Personified

Here we meet a parent couple who have recently moved to the City of Joy and approach the school of their daughter’s admission. In light of the recent incidents of reported child molestation in school premises, this couple is extremely concerned for their girld child’s safety and security. I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong with that, because I definitely know of some parents in real life, who continuously put the school administration in a spot over such issues. This sad state of affairs has been projected very candidly in the movie.

The School’s Dilemma

Children safety is as much as school authorities’ prerogative, as it is the parents. A few unfortunate incidents have brought the school premises and the staff across cadres under the scanner.  CCTV, backgroung verifications, clear space demarcations for sub-staff and sub-sub-staff are some measures that schools have immediately taken to ensure avoiding any mishaps. We as parents find solace in this knowledge, but rarely do we stop to think how all this has impacted the school staff. That eerie feeling of being watched every moment, right from the time they step into the school has taken a psychological toll on some for sure. The movie very beautifully brings to light this aspect.

Movie Haami

The Age of Whatsapp Mothers

As if the concept of Helicopter mothers wasn’t enough, Whatsapp school mom groups have further added to the fire. Age appropriate acts of mischief, childlike mistakes and even innocent acts of display of friendly affection (in this case a ‘Haami’, begali word for a kiss on the cheek) become subject to parental scrutiny because some child went back and very rightly shared the update with his mother. But the mother instead to taking it in childlike stride, went out to blow the trumpet and create misunderstandings with serious repercussions.

And Paranoid Mentality At its Best…ummm… worst?

The movie depicts how our concern for our kids’ well being has shadowed the joys of innocent childhood.  This particular set of parents instead of laughing off an act of affection displayed by their kid and another one, go on to accuse a six year old of molesting their 6 year old. May be the times are that dark in reality, but to keep things in perspective, wouldn’t it be better to use ones’ judgment and look at the situation for what it is before jumping to conclusions?

This Bengali movie Haami is a case study of the prevalent issues that various stake holders face in the course of bringing up another generation. What they actually forget to register is that each word said by them, and every action of theirs on display for kids to watch is impacting the kids’ heart and mind. That instead of pointing fingers outwards, every stake holder needs to look inwards and see how each and every word and actions of theirs is affecting the innocent souls.

With so much wound into one movie Haami still comes out as that fresh and warm spring air that touches ones heart.  One of the concluding conversations between two teachers is what childhood should be about. When the teacher says, “I choose to focus on the kid’s innocence when he says he wants to marry me. Decades later when he will come back for a reunion with his girlfriend or wife, I will pull his ears and ask him ‘hey! I was your first girlfriend’” That’s what childhood should be about. Atleast that’s what my childhood was about. But I fear that times have changed to such extent that I cannot say the same about my kids’ childhood. Can I?

Note: This article is written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge2019 conducted by HealthWealthBridge.com and AllAbouttheWoman.com and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. This content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge2019 is not responsible for any kind of infringement caused.

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20 Comments

NC February 8, 2019 at 12:54 pm

Parents are too over-protective to their children. They place too much emphasis on eliminating possible dangers around their children even before they exist. Those kids face a difficulty in protecting themselves because they have never been given a chance to experience the wider world. Obsessive control over children produces an over-dependency within a child that emotionally handicaps them. Children must be free to overcome their frustrations, solve their own problems, and accept the consequences of their choices if they are to develop the emotional and mental strength required to succeed in school and in the society.

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Anurag Singh February 8, 2019 at 3:15 pm

Wow just wow
So briefly explained everything
A must see movie than added in my list
I am always a big fan of yours
And you know that right?

God luck and be happy.

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Aritra Chakrabarty February 8, 2019 at 3:50 pm

I have watched this movie and this one is indeed a case of paranoid parenting. The emotions are so well portrayed that you relate to it, I loved watching it n also reading ur review.

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vidhya thakkar February 8, 2019 at 6:31 pm

woow a wonderful well detailed review!!! loved itt it’s amazingg!!! #superbloggerchallenge

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Siddhi February 9, 2019 at 10:34 pm

I love to watch movies and review them. I used to do so professionally few years ago. This movie sounds interesting. Will check.

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Aritro Chattopadhyay February 9, 2019 at 10:44 pm

I am a big fan of this film. Was totally overwhelmed after seeing you penning down a great review of it.

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Sindhu Vinod Narayan February 10, 2019 at 11:48 pm

I think I should definitely watch the movie with subtitles after your wonderful review. And I will

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Pragnya Mishra February 11, 2019 at 12:29 am

I haven’t heard about the movie earlier. Thanks to you I am going to watch soon and start searching already. Technology and over-protective parenting is overshadowing childhood innocence. Loved this post.

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BellyBytes February 11, 2019 at 10:11 am

I completely agree with you . As parents we have become paranoid and our children have learnt not to think for themselves.

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Snehal Joshi February 11, 2019 at 12:57 pm

A great review!! When it comes to parenting (our generation) has a lot to learn from our parents. They were never paranoid and rather they have raised one generation with utmost patience. Will check if the movie is available on Netflix or Amazon Prime.

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Vartika February 11, 2019 at 6:43 pm

Recently watched this one and totally with you on the reviews. Absolutely agree with each and every line that you have mentioned here. Perfect review and a great movie to watch for all the parents.

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Neha Sharma February 11, 2019 at 11:17 pm

Truly an incredible movie review. There have been so many times when I have watched a movie just based on some review I read or saw somewhere. This is one of those. I am going to watch this movie.

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Tina February 11, 2019 at 11:50 pm

Hi Anupriya! I enjoyed reading your post..my best read today. Bowled over by your writing style and message analysis of the movie. I have never heard of this movie and keeping this on my must-watch list. Thanks for this unforgettable post.

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Sitharaam Jayakumar February 12, 2019 at 7:07 pm

You know three years back one of the boys in my daughter’s school (when she was in her 4th grade) uttered the words ‘I love you’ to some girl and the girl went and reported this to the class teacher. And the teachers recognized the childish innocence in this and simply laughed it off in the staff room. And rightly so. My daughter came home all excited and told us about this and myself and my wife grinned from ear to ea hearing about it. But the next day the parents of the girl came to school and raised a big ruckus or so we heard from our daughter. It is really a pity that people become paranoid. And the school principal had to educate the parents on a bit of child psychology and they finally had to apologize and only after that the parents went back mollified. This movie seems to be very promising. I will definitely try and watch it.

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Prerna wahi February 12, 2019 at 7:47 pm

This surely sounds like a must watch for parents. Thanks for sharing the review and I hope to watch it soon!

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Pri February 12, 2019 at 9:51 pm

Interesting story line. And one that is extremely relevant to our times.
I’m going to check if I can find this movie with subtitles..
#SuperBloggerChallenge #Instacuppa

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Sharanya Misra February 13, 2019 at 4:42 pm

I ABSOLUTELY loved your post! Haven’t watched the movie but will do for sure. Your post gives some wonderful food for thought for all parents. Kudos!

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Ms Arora February 13, 2019 at 4:44 pm

Great review. I have not heard about this movie.
I would definitely like to see it.
Thanks for sharing

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sanjota Purohit February 14, 2019 at 2:02 am

I have never watched nay Bengali movies. I can watch with subtitles if someone recommends. I’m a big fan of Rabindranath Tagore and watched his Tagore stories. Based on that I can predict that Bengali movies will be having culture, Bengali tradition etc. This one is added to my list. Where is it available?
https://www.hackytips.com

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NEHA JAIN February 14, 2019 at 6:12 am

This movie now comes in my must-watch list. I have always believed that “What they see, is what they do”. Your review has made me more curious about watching this movie.

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