Book Blurb – All You Need Is Love – The Art of Mindful Parenting by Shelja Sen
I accept and love you the way you are. You are unique, you are different and you are you. I will not compare you with others, I will not constantly keep expecting and demanding what you might not be able to do or give. As parents, we foist our dreams and aspirations on our children, push them to be more than we could ever be. But do we have the courage and honesty to look within and ask what drives our parenting – our own needs or those of our children?
More crucially, are we able to accept them and respect them for who they are? Child & adolescent psychologist and family therapist Shelja Sen formulates five anchors of parenting to help you connect with the immense wisdom that is already present in you: Connect (create the foundation of parenting); Coach (build the necessary skills in children through an understanding of their unique wiring and temperament); Care (nurture ourselves for a more wholesome life); Community (build caring ecosystems for children to thrive in) and Commit (sustain the courage and compassion). Groundbreaking, essential reading.
Book Review – All You Need Is Love – The Art of Mindful Parenting by Shelja Sen
Every promise that the book blurb asks you to make to your child has been elaborated upon with research based evidence or with logically inferential examples. Every story/example of parental behavior vis-a-viz child behavior is eye-opening. Reading this book brings so much clarity to the fuzz around parenting psychology.
The effect of this book has been such that everytime I lose my calm around my kids, or am about to lose it, I am reminded about the various arguments that the author presents to explain why losing ones mind over child behavior isn’t the best thing to do.
I have read about the Transactional theory of Parent, Adult and Child roles earlier in a different professional context. But the same theory and the three roles when explained in context of parenting scenarios take an altogether different meaning. It’s so easy to understand, a rational parent role against a critical parent role and how it will affect a normal child behavior against a rebel child behavior. I have to confess I often find myself oscillating between an adult role and a nagging parent role. Yes, this book is going to help me move towards a rational parent role.
The above theory is just one of the many analogies that the author draws to explain how by being mindful and conscious of our actions, words and thoughts we can actually improve our relationship with our kids. The underlying thought here is, that all of us aspire to have a healthy relationship with our kids, but we are not conscious enough to direct our thoughts and actions in the same direction.
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