Browse Category

Parenting

LifeStyleParenting

5 Things I want to Tell My kids About Love – #ValentinesDay

posted by Mommy Tincture February 13, 2018 0 comments

As I see my two boys grow up everyday physically and emotionally, I wonder how they perceive love. Then I wonder, what is it that I am doing to help them understand the meaning of Love. This Valentines Day I delve into how I can contribute towards helping my kids to perceive Love in its true glory.

Here are 5 things I would want to tell my kids about Love. Continue Reading

LifeStyleParenting

What Happens when Parents Fight infront of Kids

posted by Mommy Tincture January 22, 2018 12 Comments

As a child the most frustrating moments I experienced were, when I saw my mom upset because of a tiff she had with my father. These arguments did not always happen in front of me or my sister. But looking at my mom teary eyed left me worked up and frustrated. One day in my innocence, I walked up to my mom and said to her,

‘Let papa come back home today, I will ask him why he makes you cry?’

My mom suddenly forgot about her hurt from the argument with papa, and replied wide eyed,

‘Oh dear! You must not speak up in elder’s matters. If we have had an argument, we will sort it out ourselves. You must not get involved.’

I nodded to her thoughtfully but thought in my mind

‘If Mom wants me to keep away from anything to do with the argument, why subject me to the effects of their argument. ‘

I was a teenager then. I had the ability to judge the situation, understand it and form my opinion about it. But what happens when parents argue infront of their kids who are much younger?

Through what I have read about the research on the subject of ‘Parents Fighting Infront of Kids’, there are two schools of thought –

Scientific Research

  1. Physiological changes – Increase in blood pressure, Heart Rate and increased secretion of stress hormones has been observed in kids as young as 6 months, when parent fights happen in their presence.
  2. Kids subject to regular exposure to their parents’ fights grow up with characteristics that render them incapable of recovering from stress. They are unable to regulate their emotions or calm themselves.
  3. Such kids run a higher risk of anxiety disorders and depression.
  4. Stress also cripples kids’ immune system. Children in emotionally unstable households catch cold much more frequently than other kids.
  5. Such kids are also known to have lower IQs and lower chances of excelling academically.

Spiritual Schools

  1. Right from the time a child comes into the womb, until 5-7 years of age the aura of a child is attached to mother’s aura. Every emotion that a mother feels has a direct impact on the child to an extent that the child develops the same characteristics.
  2. The child’s aura picks up thought forms from her parents’ aura which affects her personality. Aggression, anxiety, short-temper, low confidence, limitation to communicate are some most common personality traits that kids prone to fights at home are likely to grow up with.

After having read the above, one can only conclude that it is absolutely wrong to fight in front of kids. As parents we hold this responsibility to provide a nurturing environment to our kids and not subject them to such growth limiting situations. Such behavior is completely non-negotiable, if we want our kids to grow up to be emotionally balanced and matured human beings.

Silver lining to the Dark Cloud

Bestseller John Media writes in his book, ‘Brain Rules for Babies’ that if we fight in front of our kids, then we must make sure that we reconcile also in front of them. This will help the kids create a conclusive mind-map that reads that, ’OK, my parents had a difference of opinion and they argued. But they still respect each other and love each other enough to make it up between them.’

According to the author, this single thought form is almost a game changer and can reverse the negative effects of the argument that the kids witnessed.

Yet, I have my own set of do’s and don’ts when it comes to parent fights and kids –

  • Try and keep your voice low when kids are around
  • Mind your language. Like literally, kids pick up vocabulary very fast.
  • If kids come up and check with you later, explain to them that there was a point of disagreement between you two and thus the argument. Don’t forget to add, ‘Oh it’s just this one thing dear. Mom and dad are still best friends.’
  • Make a genuine closing conversation in front of the kids. Let them understand that there can be difference of opinion, yet that does not change much.
MotherhoodParenting

I Resolve To Sham Mommy Shaming

posted by Mommy Tincture January 18, 2018 5 Comments

They say that Happy Mothers raise Happy Kids. Thus my most important resolution for the year 2018 is to be a happy and contended person. But the challenge is that I am a mother of two kids under 5. Now the expectation in the former statement just does not seem to fit in with the latter one. Isn’t it? Yet I have decided to give it a shot, and a sincere one at that.

When I reflected on things that put me off during the last year, I realized that most of the reasons found their roots in one master reason. That’s the fear of judgment. The call it Mommy Shaming!  Continue Reading

LifeStyleParenting

5 Habits to Gift Your Child This Year

posted by Mommy Tincture January 13, 2018 8 Comments

This winter, I ran my first 10 km at the Airtel Run for Education, Kolkata chapter. It was quite an eye opening experience for me. That’s because both my husband and I struggled to cross the finishing line. I realized that we had been taking our health for granted for way too long. After the run, both of us decided to spare atleast 30 minutes every day for our physical fitness. This commitment had a few ramifications. First, my husband had to wake up atleast 30 minutes early in the mornings before he would get busy with getting Nik ready for school. Second, he became more conscious of his eating habits and skipped quite a few calories’ on a daily basis. The third one was that when we ran our second 10 kms at the Tata Steel 25k Run 20 days later, both of us reduced our time by over 10 minutes.

It was a real treat to go and present the finisher medals to our son, who was thrilled with the idea of his parents’ running that far and winning a medal. I felt so proud of setting such a great example for my son. As we zoom into 2018, I ponder upon what are the other habits that I want to pass on to my kids by setting appropriate examples. Continue Reading

LifeStyleParenting

Make your Mind Meditative with ‘REIKI’

posted by Mommy Tincture December 16, 2017 7 Comments

Reiki was rediscovered by Dr. Mikao Usui towards the end of the nineteenth century. Reiki essentially means ‘Rei’ meaning universal and ‘Ki’ meaning ‘life force energy’. Or ‘Reiki’ may simply be called the Cosmic Energy which sustains life.

It is believed by the perpetrators of Reiki that this Cosmic Energy is God’s own energy and is available to all for use. It is like ‘Yoga’ that does not belong to any religion. Once a person is empowered to use this life energy, she /he is capable of rejuvenating themselves for vitality, joy, and peace. This life energy also has healing effect that has been proved over decades by the practitioners.

Today we have Mr. Amar Kumar to share his views about how Reiki Meditation can be extremely useful for the old, young and kids alike. Continue Reading

LifeStyleMotherhoodParentingWork and Life

Tumhari Sulu – 5 Parenting and Lifestyle Cliches Highlighted

posted by Mommy Tincture December 13, 2017 7 Comments

When I decided to go and watch ‘Tumhari Sulu’, I was looking forward to a care-free Vaidya Balan sway to the tune of ‘Banja tu meri Rani’ and curl my own toes. In the beginning, I thought I was going to set up some couple goals similar to those of the lead couple. It was so much fun to watch them enjoy their life within their limited resources. My heart really warmed up to this very average middle class household whose protagonists never stopped dreaming. But as the plot revealed itself, I became more and more uncomfortable and kept shifting in my seat. There were moments when I gritted my teeth at the way this enterprising lady in her 30s was expected to submit to the norm and not dream big. Everyone around kept telling her to focus on her house, her child and not harp on the possibilities of making it big in a job that no one had an iota of idea about.

I kept wondering through the second half that the cliches highlighted by the story teller are not new. There is nothing unique about what the female protagonist is facing or suffering. Continue Reading

LifeStyleParenting

Mental Wellness Via Meditation – Meditation on Twin Hearts

posted by Mommy Tincture December 8, 2017 9 Comments

Pranic Healing® is a highly evolved and tested system of energy medicine developed by GrandMaster Choa Kok Sui that utilizes prana to balance, harmonize and transform the body’s energy processes. Prana is a Sanskrit word that means life-force. This invisible bio-energy or vital energy keeps the body alive and maintains a state of good health. In acupuncture, the Chinese refer to this subtle energy as Chi. It is also called Ruach or the Breath of Life in Hebrew.

Pranic Healing® is a simple yet powerful & effective system of no-touch energy healing. It is based on the fundamental principles that the body is a self-repairing living entity that possesses the ability to heal itself and that the healing process is accelerated by increasing this life force that is readily available from the sun, air and ground to address physical & emotional imbalances. Master Choa Kok Sui says “Life Energy or prana is all around us. It is pervasive; we are actually in an ocean of Life Energy. Based on this principle, a healer can draw in Pranic Energy or Life Energy from the surroundings.” Continue Reading

ParentingWork and Life

8 Ways To Bring ‘Fun’ Home This Children’s Day

posted by Mommy Tincture November 12, 2017 17 Comments

My fondest memories of fun at school are associated with Children’s Day celebrations. Children’s Day at our school used to be celebrated with a lot of fervor and enthusiasm. We were allowed to dress up in our casual dresses and come to school. The day began with a prayer followed by a speech about the life and achievements of Chacha Nehru, whose birthday we set out to celebrate on 14th November. The assembly was followed by some dance and drama performances by our teachers who disguised themselves as kids. Then followed the fun and frolic in the form of a fair where there were various stalls that conducted games and fun events for kids.

Yes, the highlight of the Children’s Day was always this fest at the school where our teachers made a special effort to make this day fun and memorable for us year after year. But now that I have become a parent and my elder child has begun to understand Children’s Day I set out to figure how I could make this day fun for my kids at home too. So here’s a list of things that you as a parent could do to have fun on Children’s Day at home too. Continue Reading

Parenting

5 Things That No One Ever Told You About Becoming New Parents

posted by Mommy Tincture October 29, 2017 14 Comments

Motherhood is associated with all the things ecstatic that are supposed to make you feel blessed. But no one talks about the darker side of being a good mother. Yes! Believe me. There is this dark dimension to being a mother which every mother suffers through all alone because talking about it without the fear of being judged is almost impossible.

This dark reality of motherhood that I talk about is beyond the pain of breastfeeding, nappy changes and sleepless nights watching the child. These are things that have a lasting impact psychologically and “normal” becomes a thing of the past.
Continue Reading

LifeStyleParentingWork and Life

5 Life Lessons to Learn from the movie ‘Chef’ – not a #MovieReview

posted by Mommy Tincture October 14, 2017 14 Comments

The latest bollywood release ‘Chef’ starring Saif Ali Khan is the story of a man’s love for food and his son. Roshan K the protagonist of the story is a chef in New York who having arose from the ‘Gullies’ of Chandni Chowk in New Delhi India and achieved the summit of success as a Chef is on a path downhill in his professional as well as personal life. This man in his pursuit of success and fame gets into a vicious circle and drifts apart from his life partner. He claims to love his son most in the world even when he feels tied down by the burdens of his profession, financial obligations etc and not able to spare enough time for him. Continue Reading