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Parenting

5 Take-Aways from my first Parents Orientation Seminar

posted by Anupriya April 18, 2018 1 Comment

Trust Me ! The first day when your child goes to his big school (the one where he will in all probability spend the next 15 years of his life), it is a ‘Happy Realisation’ moment for you. Your responsibilities take a leap to a new level. It’s not just your kids food, hygiene and health that will be your concerns anymore. You will get into an endless process of planning and co-ordinating for your kids journey at school. When I recall my time at school, I have Goosebumps. God ! How did my parents manage me through all these years?

Nevertheless, this post is not about my musings and insecurities over how I am going to manage my son’s school life. It is about the orientation session that I attended on my son’s first day of school. Continue Reading

Parenting

Parenthood Was Supposed To Bring Us Closer As A Couple

posted by Anupriya April 12, 2018 8 Comments

I belong to that generation which grew up in the newness of a gamut of cable TV channels offering a further gamut of programs to be watched for all age groups. Though our parents tried to the best of their abilities to monitor our TV viewing habits, there always were enough gaps (and huge ones I must say) which exposed us to a lot that wasn’t appropriate for us to watch (this I realise now only after becoming a parent myself).

Nevertheless, I reminisce about those years now with both fondness and ridicule because exposure to the high family drama and continuous colloquy between the characters led me to shape a good amount of opinions and I started perceiving matters accordingly.
Continue Reading

Parenting

Did You Know About The After School Meltdown Among Kids

posted by Anupriya March 16, 2018 8 Comments

Madhu is winding up her DIY Project to make customized cushion covers for her kids. She is in a hurry, because Shaurya will arrive any moment and then there will be no time or energy to do anything other than run after him.

‘Oh God! This boy has become such a ruckus.’ Madhu thought as she mentally braced herself for the daily Tsunami that was to hit the home in a couple of minutes. Even though managing a hyperactive kid who hardly took time off the entire day took its toll on her, Madhu was ok with him being active and playful. She was more bothered by the possibility that Shaurya might be raising havoc in school too. Everyday she saw a restless Shaurya nit-picking on items in the house, running around incessantly and shouting needlessly. She dreaded the day when she might be summoned to his school for his mis-demeanor. As she prepared herself for such an encounter with her son’s teachers, she also thought of questions that she would ask her so that she could help Shaurya become a calm kid. Continue Reading

Parenting

5 Things I want to Tell My kids About Love – #ValentinesDay

posted by Anupriya February 13, 2018 0 comments

As I see my two boys grow up everyday physically and emotionally, I wonder how they perceive love. Then I wonder, what is it that I am doing to help them understand the meaning of Love. This Valentines Day I delve into how I can contribute towards helping my kids to perceive Love in its true glory.

Here are 5 things I would want to tell my kids about Love. Continue Reading

Parenting

What Happens when Parents Fight infront of Kids

posted by Anupriya January 22, 2018 12 Comments

As a child the most frustrating moments I experienced were, when I saw my mom upset because of a tiff she had with my father. These arguments did not always happen in front of me or my sister. But looking at my mom teary eyed left me worked up and frustrated. One day in my innocence, I walked up to my mom and said to her,

‘Let papa come back home today, I will ask him why he makes you cry?’

My mom suddenly forgot about her hurt from the argument with papa, and replied wide eyed,

‘Oh dear! You must not speak up in elder’s matters. If we have had an argument, we will sort it out ourselves. You must not get involved.’

I nodded to her thoughtfully but thought in my mind

‘If Mom wants me to keep away from anything to do with the argument, why subject me to the effects of their argument. ‘

I was a teenager then. I had the ability to judge the situation, understand it and form my opinion about it. But what happens when parents argue infront of their kids who are much younger?

Through what I have read about the research on the subject of ‘Parents Fighting Infront of Kids’, there are two schools of thought –

Scientific Research

  1. Physiological changes – Increase in blood pressure, Heart Rate and increased secretion of stress hormones has been observed in kids as young as 6 months, when parent fights happen in their presence.
  2. Kids subject to regular exposure to their parents’ fights grow up with characteristics that render them incapable of recovering from stress. They are unable to regulate their emotions or calm themselves.
  3. Such kids run a higher risk of anxiety disorders and depression.
  4. Stress also cripples kids’ immune system. Children in emotionally unstable households catch cold much more frequently than other kids.
  5. Such kids are also known to have lower IQs and lower chances of excelling academically.

Spiritual Schools

  1. Right from the time a child comes into the womb, until 5-7 years of age the aura of a child is attached to mother’s aura. Every emotion that a mother feels has a direct impact on the child to an extent that the child develops the same characteristics.
  2. The child’s aura picks up thought forms from her parents’ aura which affects her personality. Aggression, anxiety, short-temper, low confidence, limitation to communicate are some most common personality traits that kids prone to fights at home are likely to grow up with.

After having read the above, one can only conclude that it is absolutely wrong to fight in front of kids. As parents we hold this responsibility to provide a nurturing environment to our kids and not subject them to such growth limiting situations. Such behavior is completely non-negotiable, if we want our kids to grow up to be emotionally balanced and matured human beings.

Silver lining to the Dark Cloud

Bestseller John Media writes in his book, ‘Brain Rules for Babies’ that if we fight in front of our kids, then we must make sure that we reconcile also in front of them. This will help the kids create a conclusive mind-map that reads that, ’OK, my parents had a difference of opinion and they argued. But they still respect each other and love each other enough to make it up between them.’

According to the author, this single thought form is almost a game changer and can reverse the negative effects of the argument that the kids witnessed.

Yet, I have my own set of do’s and don’ts when it comes to parent fights and kids –

  • Try and keep your voice low when kids are around
  • Mind your language. Like literally, kids pick up vocabulary very fast.
  • If kids come up and check with you later, explain to them that there was a point of disagreement between you two and thus the argument. Don’t forget to add, ‘Oh it’s just this one thing dear. Mom and dad are still best friends.’
  • Make a genuine closing conversation in front of the kids. Let them understand that there can be difference of opinion, yet that does not change much.
Parenting

I Resolve To Sham Mommy Shaming

posted by Anupriya January 18, 2018 5 Comments

They say that Happy Mothers raise Happy Kids. Thus my most important resolution for the year 2018 is to be a happy and contended person. But the challenge is that I am a mother of two kids under 5. Now the expectation in the former statement just does not seem to fit in with the latter one. Isn’t it? Yet I have decided to give it a shot, and a sincere one at that.

When I reflected on things that put me off during the last year, I realized that most of the reasons found their roots in one master reason. That’s the fear of judgment. The call it Mommy Shaming!  Continue Reading

Parenting

5 Habits to Gift Your Child This Year

posted by Anupriya January 13, 2018 8 Comments

This winter, I ran my first 10 km at the Airtel Run for Education, Kolkata chapter. It was quite an eye opening experience for me. That’s because both my husband and I struggled to cross the finishing line. I realized that we had been taking our health for granted for way too long. After the run, both of us decided to spare atleast 30 minutes every day for our physical fitness. This commitment had a few ramifications. First, my husband had to wake up atleast 30 minutes early in the mornings before he would get busy with getting Nik ready for school. Second, he became more conscious of his eating habits and skipped quite a few calories’ on a daily basis. The third one was that when we ran our second 10 kms at the Tata Steel 25k Run 20 days later, both of us reduced our time by over 10 minutes.

It was a real treat to go and present the finisher medals to our son, who was thrilled with the idea of his parents’ running that far and winning a medal. I felt so proud of setting such a great example for my son. As we zoom into 2018, I ponder upon what are the other habits that I want to pass on to my kids by setting appropriate examples. Continue Reading

Parenting

How We Spent our Winter Vacations and Glided into 2018

posted by Anupriya January 4, 2018 10 Comments

As I embark on a new year with new set of resolutions and promises to do better as a mother and in individual, multi-tasking remains on the top slot in my ‘aspirations’ list. My elder son’s winter vacations just concluded and he is back to school today, and thus I am back to blogging.  I missed writing throughout the vacations, but was not able to spare any time for doing so and keeping up with my blogging calendar. Reason?

I was very busy making my kids’ vacations fun!

What did we do?

Here’s a bucket list of things we did during the 15 day vacations. Continue Reading

Parenting

Tumhari Sulu – 5 Parenting and Lifestyle Cliches Highlighted

posted by Anupriya December 13, 2017 7 Comments

When I decided to go and watch ‘Tumhari Sulu’, I was looking forward to a care-free Vaidya Balan sway to the tune of ‘Banja tu meri Rani’ and curl my own toes. In the beginning, I thought I was going to set up some couple goals similar to those of the lead couple. It was so much fun to watch them enjoy their life within their limited resources. My heart really warmed up to this very average middle class household whose protagonists never stopped dreaming. But as the plot revealed itself, I became more and more uncomfortable and kept shifting in my seat. There were moments when I gritted my teeth at the way this enterprising lady in her 30s was expected to submit to the norm and not dream big. Everyone around kept telling her to focus on her house, her child and not harp on the possibilities of making it big in a job that no one had an iota of idea about.

I kept wondering through the second half that the cliches highlighted by the story teller are not new. There is nothing unique about what the female protagonist is facing or suffering. Continue Reading

Parenting

8 Ways To Bring ‘Fun’ Home This Children’s Day

posted by Anupriya November 12, 2017 17 Comments

My fondest memories of fun at school are associated with Children’s Day celebrations. Children’s Day at our school used to be celebrated with a lot of fervor and enthusiasm. We were allowed to dress up in our casual dresses and come to school. The day began with a prayer followed by a speech about the life and achievements of Chacha Nehru, whose birthday we set out to celebrate on 14th November. The assembly was followed by some dance and drama performances by our teachers who disguised themselves as kids. Then followed the fun and frolic in the form of a fair where there were various stalls that conducted games and fun events for kids.

Yes, the highlight of the Children’s Day was always this fest at the school where our teachers made a special effort to make this day fun and memorable for us year after year. But now that I have become a parent and my elder child has begun to understand Children’s Day I set out to figure how I could make this day fun for my kids at home too. So here’s a list of things that you as a parent could do to have fun on Children’s Day at home too. Continue Reading